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‘The local paper’s coming, I’ll wear my best bikini’ – this week’s Greatest Hits
Another classic week in Angry People in Local Newspapers, and it would be a shame of burning-of-the-library-at-Alexandria proportions to see these stories lost to the ages. So, as a public service… Bristol Post: Man tears down Extinction Rebellion roadblock to drive his friend to work in a camper van We expect Brian, here in his…
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Mysterious swedes, hi-vis dogs and endless BINS
It has been an epic week for Angry People in Local Newspapers stories, and it would be a tragedy if these epic stories of citizens and their struggles against the cruelty of the world we live in and life in general were lost to the ages. Gird your loins, we’re going in. (Please click through…
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The accordion, and its use as a tool of oppression by totalitarian governments
FACT: North Korea has its own version of the X Factor, a grim parade of hand-picked hopefuls singing revolutionary standards in front of a rictus-grinning audience of hand-picked sycophants, and a panel of judges who all look like Louis Walsh. It’s called “The 14th National Singing Competition of the Working People” and it is compulsory…
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Best of Angry People of 2019 (so far)
It’s May and this is looking like a vintage year for angry people pointing at the thing that’s made them angry. So here are the best of the year so far. But first, a request for APILN contributors. Stoke Sentinel: Our road has been left looking like this for three years since the developer went…
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The Banned From Facebook Angry People Spectacular
One thing led to another, and Facebook has temporarily banned me from posting on my own page. However, arrangements have been made, in which I’m piling up all of today’s best stories into this post and throwing them onto Facebook through the Deputy Supreme Leader. I have – of course – a photograph of me…
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Ten local news stories that prove Christmas this year is totally RUINED
Crappy trees, swearing Santas, grotty grottos. Kiddiewinks have been made sad because their Christmas has been RUINED. It’s only the 7th, and for many people their Christmas has already been irreversibly RUINED, and somebody’s going to have to pay. And when you’ve seen your Christmas RUINED, there’s only one thing that you can do –…
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Ten reasons that prove DIE HARD is a Christmas movie and one that proves it is not
Is Die Hard a Christmas movie, or merely a violent action movie set at Christmas? I contend that it is not, and anybody who thinks otherwise is a gold-plated IDIOT, but – even-handed person that I am – I’m prepared to listen to the evidence to the contrary. So, let us unravel the truth. TEN ELEVEN…
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Won’t anybody save Santa from his hideous Christmas Eve ordeal?
This year, like every year, Father Christmas sets off from the North Pole (or Lapland, if you have a tourist business based there) to visit every child on the planet and leave them presents. All very sweet, but have you realised that some of the places he has to visit aren’t …well… very nice? These…
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The Many Shades of Hunky Mullet Weatherman
There’s a weatherman who does the St Petersburg forecasts on Russia’s Rossiya1 TV channel. He’s hunky. He has a mullet. He only ever wears pastel shades and has a purple tablet computer cover which he carries on set for no reason whatsoever. He is Hunky Mullet Weatherman. And I think you should get to know…
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Fuming ‘not local enough’ author refuses take ‘no’ for an answer
Now updated: They said yes! The author of the newly-published Angry People in Local Newspapers book has launched a one-man campaign after being snubbed by his local newspaper. Fuming Alistair Coleman was told by editors at the local title that he “wasn’t local enough” for a feature on his new book in the paper, despite…