‘The local paper’s coming, I’ll wear my best bikini’ – this week’s Greatest Hits

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Another classic week in Angry People in Local Newspapers, and it would be a shame of burning-of-the-library-at-Alexandria proportions to see these stories lost to the ages.

So, as a public service…

buy real Propecia Not Generic Bristol Post: Man tears down Extinction Rebellion roadblock to drive his friend to work in a camper van

We expect Brian, here in his Harrington jacket, has a great many opinions on a great many things, and uses the word “snowflake” an awful lot, but never in the context of weather.

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Portsmouth News: Converted grenade sparks bomb alert at Portsmouth home

As you can tell from the photograph, this couple are very, very special indeed.

In fact, we draw your attention to the background of the photograph, where there is so much going on.

And yeah, the back that she decided to wear a bikini for the local newspaper. There’s that as well.

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Liverpool Echo: Girl, eight, left in tears after mum buys sofa from Gumtree which stinks out the house

So, you’ve decided to pay cash for something on notorious online tat market Gumtree – sight unseen – and the sellers deliver it in a massive plastic bag and can’t get away quick enough.

Nothing, as they say, can go wrong.

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And we round things off with this very cursed story.

Wales Online: Ghost hunters stumble across very cursed doll that wants to eat your face

I’ve been doing this sort of thing for long enough to know when something is cursed. And this is very cursed indeed.

In fact, I’d go as far as saying it is curs-ed.

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