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Duolingo keeps trying to pick a fight with me

Quiet night down the pub, and this happens. Duolingo’s been on the sherbet again and sending small boys with less-than-veiled threats to my safety. Look Junior, I’ll take you on, in the car park outside. But don’t bring the owl, I don’t fight wild animals. Christ alive – for the third time – NO WILD […]

The World Naked Butler Shortage: A warning from history

Surrey Live: We don’t do those clickbaity ‘Journalist Does Normal Thing’ stories that seem to be all the rage at the moment, except for this one A Journalist Does Normal Thing story has to be truly exceptional to get into the pges of Angry People in Local Newspapers, and when the reporter has a face […]

Regret to report that people are still trying to go on holiday

North Wales Daily Post: Psycho seagulls leave couple prisoners in their own home Yet there they are, outside. Perhaps if they let the seagulls have a go on the trampoline, we could all reach some sort of accommodation. ____________________ Henley Standard: Couple want to know where the police are after car takes out their plant […]

Thirty yards of cycling hell, a nice cup of tea, and a slug

This from the Lancashire Post is local news reporting at its very finest and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Lancashire Post: Local woman rides entire length of new cycle lane Honestly, this video is one minute and 48 seconds of suspense, drama, personal growth, and a happy ending. But it’s a good thing […]

Paris destroyed/Paris saved

How many round-ups of local newspaper headlines begin with an obscure reference to the film Superman II (1980, dir: Richard Lester)? Just this one, that’s how many.

Normal for [insert name of town, city, county, or region]

Everything is, as usual, ruined. And it’s always somebody else’s fault and the only way to express this is through the pages of your local newspaper. Welcome, you.

It could be you. But it isn’t

Another week, another bunch of folks dealt a hand from the bottom of the pack. Who, for reasons left unexplained, still went to the papers.

Oh No! It’s Another Angry People In Local Newspapers Greatest Hits Post

Every now and then (usually when the hosting bill arrives) we remember we’ve got a website and decide to get our money’s worth with a greatest hits post. This is one of those times.

So you think you’ve seen a panther? It’s never a panther

It’s a cat. That panther you saw, that wolf, that yeti, that ghost, that strange light in the sky. Cat. It’s always a cat.

A Kim Jong-un gif special

This one’s for all you people out there who wanted gif versions of the Supreme Leader looking at his watch, and walking away from his big missile. You’re welcome. What’s the time? It’s time for the respected General Secretary Top Gun Kim Big Door Kim Don’t say I never do stuff for you guys.