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A Kim Jong-un gif special

This one’s for all you people out there who wanted gif versions of the Supreme Leader looking at his watch, and walking away from his big missile. You’re welcome. What’s the time? It’s time for the respected General Secretary Top Gun Kim Big Door Kim Don’t say I never do stuff for you guys.

The best of APILN for December 2021 part II, but stories that are not Christmas is RUINED because they’ve got their own page m’kay?

____________________ Gloucestershire Live: Driver doesn’t over-react in the slightest after receiving a parking ticket On the run from the law, sleeping in barns, foraging for food in hedgerows. Who knows when this renegade will FACE THE LAW. ____________________ Chronicle Live: Mayor is furious over lack of electric car charging points in his town “Phased plasma […]

Furious letters, daft headlines, terrible poetry, and Peter Andre – December 2021

People won’t stop writing terrible poems to local newspapers. Good. ____________________ People won’t stop sending terrible smug letters to local newspapers. Good. ____________________ Local newspapers won’t stop writing pointless stories about Peter Andre. Good. ____________________ They put this behind a paywall. Bad. ____________________ You didn’t see this. Keep scrolling. ___________________ Nobody wants to hear about […]

Christmas is RUINED: The 2021 collection, part three – now into the rolling vistas of UTTER RUINATION and FIRE

____________________ Astonishingly, this isn’t a photo from the Hull Daily Mail about a couple who are furious because their festive tube of Pringles had a dead mouse inside and Christmas is RUINED, it’s a BBC promo image from the Two Doors Down Christmas special. Top tip: If your Christmas is RUINED, follow the professionals and […]

Christmas is RUINED: The 2021 collection, part two – Christmas is RUINEDER

Part One of Christmas is RUINED 2021 is over here. The best non-Christmas is RUINED stories from December are over here. ____________________ Liverpool Echo: Christmas is RUINED after kiddiewink finds chocolates inside her alleged luxury advent calendar aren’t very big at all Top tip: Save your Christmas from being RUINED by a disappointing advent calendar […]

The best of December stories so far but not Christmas is RUINED stories because they’ve got their own post thank you

For the best of this year’s Christmas is RUINED stories, click here. ____________________ Gloucestershire Live: Bomb Squad called to local hospital after man gets a WW2 shell stuck up his bumhole The old “I was cataloging my large collection of wartime memorabilia in the nude, and I slipped and fell onto this large artillery weapon, […]

Christmas is RUINED: The 2021 collection

It doesn’t take much to RUIN Christmas for everybody these days. Try to avoid these unfortunate scenarios to avoid having to run to your local newspaper about the death of this year’s festive season. Wolverhampton Express and Star: Christmas is RUINED after the Coco-Cola truck cancels stop in Wolverhampton Top tip: Avoiding ruining your Christmas […]

More dull showbiz news in local newspapers – Touch my bumper

Car Dealer Magazine: One of the Cheeky Girls is now working for a car dealership in York Touch my bumper, this is life. That’s it. That’s the joke. ______________ Newcastle Chronicle: Ant and Dec spotted sitting the wrong way round at Newcastle football match “Human sacrifice! Dogs and Cats living together! Ant and Dec the […]

Just none cornettos, illegal sprinkles and other stories

Another week, another parade of people who have thought – for one reason or another – that their lives could be improved by taking their problems to their local news organisation and pointing angrily at the thing that made them angry. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. Stoke Sentinel: NHS worker absolutely furious as […]

Dull Showbiz News in Local Newspapers

You can never have too many news stories about Peter Andre being spotted in supermarkets. This is a useful public service in which readers are able to avoid the crowds until the proper authorities have got a grip on things. And it’s also a good measure of how dull the press is prepared to go […]