Author: angrypiln

  • THINGS I HAVE NOTICED THIS WEEK: Alistair Coleman’s Pithy, Witty and Hilarious Weekly Celebrity Newspaper Column

    THINGS I HAVE NOTICED THIS WEEK: Alistair Coleman’s Pithy, Witty and Hilarious Weekly Celebrity Newspaper Column

    “I don’t pay two pounds to look bewildered, muddled and confused by simple, commonplace technology. If I wanted that, I’d buy an XBox, or whatever it is young people use for entertainment these days” Imagine: The editor’s expecting 700 pithy and quirky words on some aspect of my life, and being the genius that I…

  • Anything can be improved with the addition of googly eyes – The angry people of April 2023

    Anything can be improved with the addition of googly eyes – The angry people of April 2023

    Once again it’s left to us to point out things that need pointing out. Googly eyes on shopfronts, the need for a Twins sequel, and the mating habits of supermarket trolleys. But what can you do? Oh yes, I remember: Point and laugh at them. Point and laugh at them HARD. Now. Get yer hair…

  • APILN: The best of 2023 so far

    APILN: The best of 2023 so far

    How is it April already? I suppose now is as good a time as any to collect this year’s best angry stories for your delight and my obsessive nature. Also, I’ve got nothing better to do, and there’s an important story about squirrels. So, here are 22 of the best. BBC News: Woman terrorised by…

  • Best of APILN 2022: The disgruntled consumer selection

    Best of APILN 2022: The disgruntled consumer selection

    Angry customers are the bread and butter of Angry People in Local Newspapers, especially if the bread is mouldy, and the butter’s been up a dog’s bottom. So much so, that our wildly popular Best Of post couldn’t do the disgruntled consumers of 2022 justice. So here we are, and let’s start with the film…

  • Scaryduck: A brief history of chippy tea

    Scaryduck: A brief history of chippy tea

    “And then they had Chippy Tea on the way home.” So wrote JRR Tolkien at the very end of The Lord of the Rings, the battles won, Sauron defeated, the One Ring destroyed, and friendships maintained.  Those final words in what is arguably the greatest saga written in the English language confirms one thing that…

  • Angry People in Local Newspapers – Greatest Hits of 2022 (and some from 2023)

    Angry People in Local Newspapers – Greatest Hits of 2022 (and some from 2023)

    2022. Among the 2022 years since the world was created (please check – Ed), it was certainly one of them. And through the medium of “forgetting to write down the best local news stories of the year”, we have spent actual days searching out the best local news stories of the year. For those of…

  • Scaryduck: On the futility of NFTs

    Scaryduck: On the futility of NFTs

    Nothing loses its value faster than an NFT.  You might be aware of The Guardian’s Headline of the Year-worthy story “Man who paid $2.9m for NFT of Jack Dorsey’s first tweet set to lose almost $2.9m”, as a prime example of this.  Anything that is offered as an “investment opportunity” with no actual evidence linked…

  • Christmas is RUINED: 2022 edition

    Christmas is RUINED: 2022 edition

    Father Christmas. Saint Nick. Santa Claus. Kris Kringle. That bloke in the Coca Cola adverts. Whatever you call him, he’s a rotten egg. The owner of the most intensive global behavioural surveillance programme of a scope that the government of China can only look upon with longing eyes, do you trust this man with the…

  • That’s not what it says on your T-shirt, mate

    That’s not what it says on your T-shirt, mate

    This is what happens when you don’t update the site for a few weeks – it gets backed up with crap like a pair of Y-fronts stuck in a sewer pipe. Where’s my biggest prodding stick? Here we go, the best of Angry People in Local Newspapers of November 2022 (so far). ____________________ Lancs Live:…

  • Town turned into cake, police launch search for Paul Hollywood

    Town turned into cake, police launch search for Paul Hollywood

    The custard shortage is still ongoing, and police believe that the town-into-cake stunt is merely a cover-up for the disappearing [checks notes] ‘dessert sauce’. At the time of publishing, Paul Hollywood is still on the run. ____________________ Ron of the week Daily Mirror: Dog ‘accidentally’ orders £70 of cable TV porn, find it difficult to…