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French woman is so angry she’s made a sarcastic sign after third car crashes into her house in three years
Just to prove that Angry People in Local Newspapers isn’t solely a pursuit for the Anglo-Saxons, our spotter Jérôme sends this gem from France. And not only has she made a sign, she has resorted to that most British of tactics: SARCASM. Ouest-France: “There are still people left to crush! Put your foot down!” To be…
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Velociraptor spotted in a field in Scotland, but there’s a twist (IT’S A STICK YOU MORONS)
In which simple-minded country folk mistake a large stick for a long-extinct dinosaur species. We won’t lie to you, it’s a stick. A very dinosaur-like stick from some angles, but a stick nonetheless. Daily Record: Memo to the people of Stirlingshire – this is a stick I know my classics (Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park II, Jurassic…
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Council goes to war with old guy who built a set of steps that are not a death trap at all
Another rule of Angry People in Local Newspapers: Never try to do a job that is usually done by the council. They don’t like it, especially if you bring the job home $64,500 under quote. CTV News: Retiree builds steps down to local park for $500 after council says they might get round to doing the…
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Driver charged £140 after getting his number plate wrong on car park ticket
This is one of those stories when you’re 100% on the side of the driver. Or 1O0%. This is mainly because private parking companies are in league with Satan, the Prince of Darkness – not in an evil way (OK, a bit), but in their slavish devotion to the rules that no person in possession…
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Drop Bears: A Warning from History
It’s a known fact in Australia that if an animal even so much as looks at you, you’re dead already. And this is particularly true in the case of the DROP BEAR, an animal so foul and vicious that it has been banned from any encyclopedia of the world’s fauna. While it may look like the…
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Area man says he can’t afford £20 to dump his rusty old fridge
Things you don’t do in life, no.390: Don’t go to the papers and announce that you might be planning to do something illegal. For example, going to the Portsmouth News saying that £20.10 is far too much for the council to take away your broken old fridge that you’ve had in your garage for years,…
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Aussie bloke hailed as a hero for defending his street with a trident. And also a chainsaw
This is Johnny Smith of Townsville, Queensland. Johnny is a bona fide hero, because Johnny’s got a bloody great trident, which he isn’t afraid to use against filthy dags out on the rob. Queensland Times: Man chases off hapless robbers with long spiky thing, petrol-driven power tools A man’s home is his castle, in that you…
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The time Doctor Who turned up as an Angry Person in a Local Newspaper
Our spotter Laura writes, apropos of the kerfuffle over the BBC casting Jodie Whittaker as the new Doctor. “It reminds me of a story I wrote 10 years ago about staff at a local tip potentially losing their jobs. “All pretty mundane stuff until they passed the phone over to a celebrity backing their cause…
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Gnomes’ arses cause fear and loathing in leafy Cheshire
Garden gnomes. Either you love ’em, or want to beat them to death with a cricket bat and force feed the remains to baboons, then fire the baboons in a rocket into the heart of the sun. We’re in the latter camp. But – hey – live and let live*. But in Cheshire, the appearance…
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Thieves keep stealing flowers from care home
Angry People in Local Newspapers Trope no.32: Looking angrily at something that isn’t there. Usually this manifests itself as somebody pointing wanly at the space where a bicycle or car isn’t. In this case, it’s gurning at empty flower pots. Wolverhampton Express and Star: Stop stealing our plants and flowers, say care home staff Guy on…