Garden gnomes. Either you love ’em, or want to beat them to death with a cricket bat and force feed the remains to baboons, then fire the baboons in a rocket into the heart of the sun.
We’re in the latter camp. But – hey – live and let live*.
But in Cheshire, the appearance of gnomes’ arses has caused the ultimate action to be taken: A letter from the council.
The fact that this nice chap has spent the last four years tending an unwanted patch of land, turning it from a brick-strewn waste into a community garden is neither here nor there.
For he had decorated it with gnomes with their arses hanging out, and gnome arses are the worst arses, according to the burghers of Wistaton.
You could park your bike in there.
And now… with video!
They've been caught with their trousers down in sleepy Cheshire, and the council wants them gone.
Posted by BBC North West on Tuesday, July 18, 2017
And at least he’s still got all his gnomes, pencil-necked desk-pilots at the council notwithstanding.
Look at this poor bugger.
Lancashire Telegraph: We’ve held a gnome audit and one’s missing
*Complete lie. BURN THEM ALL.