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Area man protests new housing development through the medium of outsize picture frame
Nobody likes big new housing developments, especially when they come to a small village with historic connections. And nobody likes a NIMBY, either. But at least this chap is being artistic about it. East Anglia Daily Times: Residents campaign against development in John Constable’s home village with a giant version of his classic work “Thirty Mile…
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Residents driven stark raving mad over loud seagulls
Seagulls. The cunning, vicious feathery bastards. Cooking in a pie is too good for them, mostly because seagulls taste like grilled turds. And that’s a FACT. Consider this poor chap. Daily Record: Dumfries residents demand action as the sound of seagulls makes them consider running amok with an axe, or something A seagull once shat in…
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Britain is full of museums and tourist attractions with terrible mannequins and here are some of the best
Ever since our very important review of Bodmin Jail went a bit viral, people have assumed that I am now some sort of expert on terrible mannequins at tourist attractions. This being the case, I have decided that I will take up the mantle and be Britain’s leading expert on terrible mannequins at tourist attractions. Step…
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Lest We Forget: The Derbyshire broom massacre, two years on
RIP BROMES U R IN HEVEN NOW WIV DA ANGLES N PRICNESS DI N HER ANGLE CLEANER Two years ago today, villains – name and motive unknown – snapped a broom in two in the village of Eyam in Derbyshire. Eyam is a village still recovering from the Great Plague, which struck locally just 350…
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Pictures of Kim Jong-un looking at things
North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un. Not a big fan of the human rights-violating, uncle-murdering dictator if I’m going to be honest with you. But people pay me a living wage to look at pictures of Kim Jong-un looking at things, and it’s a game that anybody can play. So why does Kim Jong-un look…
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Dog is furious after tree falls into his garden
I’m not going to (oh-ho!!) beat about the bush, but the best part of this story about a tree falling into a garden isn’t that a child could have been killed, but that the angriest person in the photograph is – in fact – the family dog. Bracknell News: Kiddiewinks upset, dog furious, as tree falls into…
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The Scottish village of Dull (twinned with Boring, OR) celebrates meeting with Bland, NSW
Imagine living in a place called Dull. I bet it’s really exciting, especially when you’re twinned with a place in America called Boring. But the Dull-Boring axis is about to get even more exciting, as Bland in New South Wales wants in on the party. Have at it, you guys. Dundee Courier: Dull and Bland hold…
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Charity boss will (oh-ho!) CLUB burglars to death
If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuits, join our club. Unless you are the scumbags that stole biscuits from this charity, because they are going to CLUB you to death, force you through a strainer, and feed you to rats. And then the rats will be clubbed to death, and the cycle…
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Bus station badness is a bugger for old boys
They moved the bus station next door to where these chaps live, and it wasn’t the lovely experience they were led to believe. No wonder they’re FUMMIN. Chester Chronicle: Living next door to new bus station is very, very awful So bad, that the chap on the right has lost his distinctive curly locks. Recognise him?…
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Student at posh Australian school starts dirty protest over teachers’ performance
My year at school was described as “the worst behaved we’ve ever had”, and that’s a badge of pride the class of 1982 wears with pride. But alas, it appears that we have been trumped by the class of 2017 at one of Australia’s most prestigious schools. We only had daily fire alarms, someone who…