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Man who is in love with his Jaguar car is not a manky old spunker and a pervert
We don’t know what made Darius Monty go to the papers about his deep and abiding love for his 2004 Jaguar X-Type, because the human mind works in mysterious ways. But mechanophilia is a real thing and that doesn’t make him a manky old spunker, so give a guy a break. All the same, I do…
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Poole people sick of maggots, demand return of weekly bin collections
It’s all go on the south coast where the roll-out of two-weekly bin collections has not gone down well with some of the locals. And if you like pictures of maggots in the bottom of food waste bins, click through at once because this is your story. Bournemouth Echo: Residents want return to weekly bin collections…
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When a local UKIP councillor in Henley-on-Thames blamed local floods on gay marriage
Hands up who remembers UKIP. *tumbleweed* But who remembers that time a local UKIP councillor got kicked out of the party for blaming the Thames bursting its banks in his home town of Henley-on-Thames on David Cameron supporting equal marriage? Yeah, the man who invented Gay Weather. Henley Herald (January 2014): Councillor blames Henley floods on…
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Bowling ladies throw some hot Beyonce shapes in attempt to save their club
If you have a niche interest in older ladies dancing, then this is the news article for you. Here we have Terry Foster (82), Wyn Hewitt (72), and Janine Halls (“28”) giving The Man what for over a new stadium the local council wants to build on the current location of their club in Melbourne. These…
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Woman says binmen took the mickey out her her sign requesting more recycling bags
Bins. The sure-fire way of getting angry people running to their local newspaper. And when the service industry workers don’t know their place at the bottom of the social pile, then the fury is all the greater. All she did was ask for more recycling sacks. Leicester Mercury: Woman claims bin man mocked her ‘More bags…
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Nominative determinism at its finest as Mr Podger told he’s too heavy to fly
Nominative determinism and Angry People in Local Newspapers – together at last! And this one isn’t pretty. Southern Daily Echo: Mr Podger told he’s too heavy to board over-crowded flight from Southampton Airport We have no idea of name of the other passenger denied as seat on the plane, but we are convinced it is Mr…
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Pensioners convicted over Loughborough sledgehammer brawl
We don’t normally cover court reports unless the story is so outrageous that we simply cannot ignore it. This is one of those stories. Leicester Mercury: Family members convicted after going after their elderly member with a sledgehammer in a row over shared land There’s nothing like a boundary dispute to bring out the very best…
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Angry Dutch People in Local Newspapers are angry about school closure
Hey you Brexit types, we have more in common with our European friends than you think. And to prove it, here are Angry Dutch People in Local Newspapers. Leeuwarder Courant: Haskerhorne strijdt voor behoud van der school Yeah, that’s easy for you to say. So here’s the translation: (Town of) Haskerhorne fights to save school.…
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Toronto residents have a (oh-ho!) BEEF over giant cow sculpture that’s appeared in their neighbourhood
Don’t (oh-ho! again) HAVE A COW, man!!!! But then, it’s appearance is (oh-ho-ho!!!) UDDERLY ridiculous, but the picture looks like the residents are totally (oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!!) MILKING it. Toronto Star: Charlestown residents not particularly pleased after large cow on stilts appears outside their homes I call (oh-ho!) BULL – cows can’t even use stilts. I ought to…
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Fine for bad parking could have been spent on the kiddiewinks, says mum
If you park badly these days, you get a fine. But – you know – it’s got to be somebody else’s fault somehow. AND MAYBE SHE’S RIGHT. And maybe there’s a solution that suits everybody. Eastern Daily Press: Mum blames council car parks’ lack of kiddiewink parking spaces for £50 fine for parking over the lines…