We don’t know what made Darius Monty go to the papers about his deep and abiding love for his 2004 Jaguar X-Type, because the human mind works in mysterious ways.
But mechanophilia is a real thing and that doesn’t make him a manky old spunker, so give a guy a break.
All the same, I do find it weird that the Mirror have pixellated out the number plate to save Goldie her blushes.
Click through, because the Mirror have about a billion pictures of the happy couple, but one really thinks they could have at least help him keep a shred of dignity, because people like me are only going to add offensive captions.
But – you know – he’s not hurting anybody, so let him get her a card every year when she passes her MOT.
And mechanophilia is not as rare as you think:
Metro: Woman marries Santa Fe railway station in America after 35 year romance
And of course…
Daily Telegraph: Erika La Tour Eiffel marries the Eiffel Tower
She was also reportedly “fond” of the Berlin Wall, but it was already married to Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer. Which is fair enough.
Just don’t do it in public, or they’ll put you in the dock. And you won’t come back.
Kent Live: Man admits naked romp with motorbike in public
“He was ordered to pay compensation of £180 to Mr Llewellyn for the damage done to the motorbike.”
Of course, the story’s really about alcohol abuse of which the moto-sex was an incidental part, but what has been seen by the witnesses cannot be unseen.