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Chesterfield Borough Council’s tribute to Princess Diana is the best worst thing in the world
Poor dead Princess Diana. She had enough of this shit to put up with when she was alive, without awful things happening to her twenty years after her death. Let’s beam over to Chesterfield, where their solemn remembrance of The Princess of All Our Hearts has been made through the medium of a floral well-dressing.…
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Pastafarian wears colander in court accused of Chewbacca suit ski resort attack
First against the wall: People who take made-up religions too seriously. You know – people who said they were Jedis on their census forms. And people who follow the entirely mad-up for shits and giggles Church of the Holy Spaghetti Monster to the point that they wear a colander on their head for their driving…
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A Canadian mayor is being taunted with hot dogs, and he’d quite like you to stop now
Charlie Pender is mayor of Corner Brook, an otherwise quiet little town in the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labrador. It looks like the kind of place where nothing much happens, and folks like to keep it that way. Charlie is standing for re-election this month, and he’d quite like the people taunting him with…
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HOME YOU GO EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE – Even more kids join the rebellion against school uniforms
We’re going to cut to the chase today. Turn up at school with blue hair? That’s a bannin’ Wales Online: Teenager dyes his hair blue for the summer holidays, is shocked – SHOCKED – to find it won’t come out on the first day of term Mum says they’ve tried “everything” to get it back to…
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HOME YOU GO PART III: BACK IN TRAINING – Even more kids sent home from school with the wrong uniform
Part One Part Two And the happy, smiling faces just don’t stop. Here’s the third instalment of HOME YOU GO, our annual collection of schoolkids feeling the wrath of their teachers for daring to turn up for the new term without the right uniform. Grimsby Telegraph: Kiddiewink put into isolation because of his “extreme” haircut The…
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HOME YOU GO 2017 Part II: Electric Boogaloo – More kids sent home because of the wrong school uniform
And still they come. Kids have had all summer to make sure that their school uniforms are 100% spot on; while parents have had to sell kidneys so that they can afford the official school trousers from the school trouser cartel that can only be bought through the currency of human kidney. And meanwhile, head…
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HOME YOU GO 2017 EDITION: Kiddiewinks face the wrath of schools over the wrong uniform
It’s that time of year again as the kids go back to school, and are immediately sent home for wearing the wrong school uniform. Then their parents throw a hissy fit and go to the local newspapers, meaning that the poor kiddiewinks are tarred for their entire school lives as “That kid whose parent went…
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Man run over by guest in electric wheelchair as birthday party descends into drink- and cocaine-fuelled nightmare
There are times when you don’t want to read the story, because the headline is all you need to give you a perfect picture of events. This is one of those stories. But if you really must: Edinburgh Evening News: Court hears how a member of Alex Salmond’s house band “shared drugs with a singer before…
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Giant statue of New Zealand’s environment minister doneing a poo left outside government offices
Things have taken a weird turn down in New Zealand where protests against new relaxed water standards have got a little out of hand. Local artist Sam Mahon has taken time out from his busy schedule to build a large statue of Environment Minister Dr Nick Smith, with his trousers down, pooing into a glass…
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Shit town battles: CANVEY vs SHEPPEY
This is the first of our SHIT TOWN BATTLES, facing off one location against another vaguely similar town to see which is the crappiest. So… >ding ding< Which is worse? Canvey Island (Essex) or the Isle of Sheppey (Kent)? There’s only one way to find out… And since you are here, the fight will be carried out…