Chesterfield Borough Council’s tribute to Princess Diana is the best worst thing in the world

3
838

Poor dead Princess Diana.

She had enough of this shit to put up with when she was alive, without awful things happening to her twenty years after her death.

Let’s beam over to Chesterfield, where their solemn remembrance of The Princess of All Our Hearts has been made through the medium of a floral well-dressing.

I am sure you’ll agree that is very, very special.

And by “special” we actually mean “truly bloody terrifying, they should have electrical generators wired into her grave by the amount of spinning that’s going on there right now.”

Luckily, the BBC is there to bring a voice of sanity to proceedings:

BBC News: The portrait has been mocked on social media, with some saying it looked more like Worzel Gummidge

Oh. Right.

We’re getting Restored Jesus, to be honest.

Image by Dave Skinner

 

And we quote: “Chesterfield Borough Council said it hoped the design would bring more people to the town”.

The only new people coming to the town are those moved by the appearance of Zombie Diana to shout “Kill it! Kill it with fire and sticks!”, driving several hundred miles to the town with fire and sticks in the back of their cars for the sole purpose of killing it with fire and sticks.

Then they will leave.

But surely it’s not so bad? Really? Let’s take a close look at the detailing.

There are many, many thing that catch the eye.

The “English” dental work.

The lipstick that was applied by an 18-month-old toddler.

The bouffant hair style made famous by now-deceased North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il.

Those permanently rolled eyes.

But most important of all: Her nose fashioned out of 100% pure penis.

She has a penis for a nose, and I will fight any man who says otherwise.

Chesterfield – tell us when it’s gone. Then we will visit in droves.

And now with video:

And you might like to peruse the Derby Telegraph for more fun and games.

“Responding to the criticism, a spokesperson for Chesterfield Borough Council said: “All art is meant as a talking point and that certainly seems to be the case with this year’s design.”

An image of Princess Diana was chosen because she opened the town’s visitor information centre in 1981.”

Well, that explains EVERYTHING.

RIP SWET PRNCIESS 4 EVA IN R HARTS XXX

3 COMMENTS

  1. Brilliant article. I live in Chesterfield and so have seen the horror on numerous occasions. You don’t have to drive to the town with fire and sticks though – we’ll supply them! Well dressings are supposed to protect our water from plague and such like, but I have a feeling this might just bring some on!
    You are right about the nose though, first thing I said was “Why has she got a cock for a nose?”
    Apart from this we are actually quite a nice town 🙂

  2. With all due respect to the good people of Chesterfield, if this is your usual calibre of well dressings, I think I would rather take my chances with the potential plague infested waters!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here