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Angry People page member shocked – SHOCKED – over chocolate biscuit bungle
I get a direct message, and down the rabbit hole we go: “I sent a press release to the locals about a biscuit I got that didn’t have chocolate on.” And then: “Update: Just been interviewed about a biscuit.” “This sounds important,” I reply. “Keep us posted.” And it IS important. Portsmouth News: Biscuit lover shocked to…
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Aussie woman finds out the hard way that you don’t park on the pavement
How do you make somebody do a face that would curdle milk? Send them a surprise parking ticket in the post, it seems. And if you work in parking enforcement, why not give it a go? It works exactly 100 per cent of the time. Look… Sunshine Coast Daily: Woman fights local council over fine after…
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The struggle is real as supermarket customer campaigns to bring back plum tomatoes
Life is difficult. And when you can’t get the tinned tomatoes you like, it’s all you can do not to run amok down the aisles of your local Coop. But somebody’s got to do it. Cambs Times: For the love of all that is holy, somebody order in some tinned plum tomatoes at the March branch…
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In further proof that Ron is innocent, man is charged for Virgin Media services he’s never watched
In 2014, in one of the great injustices of this modern age, an innocent man was charged £900 by Virgin Media for porny movies he swears he didn’t watch. And now, look, it is happening again. And this time it’s over an mysterious purchase of Sky Spurts …err… Sports. Colchester Gazette: Essex man has no idea…
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Mystery as cucumbers keep turning up in Tunbridge Wells
It’s all kicking off down in Kent where somebody is leaving cucumbers lying around in the street. While we’re used to other food detritus – usually half-eaten takeaway meals, abandoned the second the customer comes to their senses – finding salad lying around your home town is quite a long way from business as usual.…
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Mini unveils new ‘Bondage look’ model
Stealing wing mirrors off cars is neither big nor clever, so stop doing it you curs. We are saying this because repeated thefts of Mini wing mirrors have made this oldiewonk sad and we think you should stop now. However, she appears to have invented a new accessory for which any filthy-minded Mini owner will…
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Mum buys cursed doll for her child that says ‘You bitch’
It’s pretty much a minimum requirement that toys for the kiddiewinks shouldn’t say things like “You bitch” and other top quality swears. Talking dolls should say “Mama”, “Papa”, and “I’ve pooed my nappy”. “You bitch” is way out. Birmingham Mail: Mum buys cursed speaking doll for her kiddiewink from Argos, is shocked that it is full…
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This is what happens when you buy a cake from a complete stranger off Facebook in an alley behind Wilkos
A general rule of thumb: If you buy a novelty birthday cake from somebody off Facebook in an alley behind Wilkos, you probably deserve what happens next. This woman bought a novelty birthday cake from somebody off Facebook in an alley behind Wilkos, and has learned the hard way. She also paid them fifty pounds…
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Yes, yes we do want to watch Gemma Collins falling off the stage at the BBC Teen Awards. Repeatedly
Gemma is the gift that keeps on giving. A true artist in every sense of the word. And here she is falling off the stage at the BBC Teen Awards. OH MY GOD. Gemma Collins just fell down a hole on stage after announcing the winner of Best TV Show at the #R1TeenAwards. She seems…
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Shopper is mildly inconvenienced after receiving two old pound coins in her change
The old pound coins ceased to be legal tender land week, but its hardly a surprise that there are still millions of the things in circulation. And that means that you shouldn’t be too surprised if one or two end up in your pocket. Or, you could just lose your mind and go to the…