I’ve got a thing for badly behaved sporting mascots and I don’t care who knows about it. And naturally, if you want to see mascots that have really lost what little decorum they have left, you need to go to Australia. There you’ll find the Central Coast Mariners, whose sponsor-provided mascot is a bottle of…

Imagine for a moment that you are an idiot. Imagine that you are an idiot strolling along the seafront at Surfer’s Paradise in Australia and stumble across many fit, sporty types limbering up for a bicycle race. What are you going to do? If you had d) Steal a bike and ride through the pack…

Poor dead Princess Diana. She had enough of this shit to put up with when she was alive, without awful things happening to her twenty years after her death. Let’s beam over to Chesterfield, where their solemn remembrance of The Princess of All Our Hearts has been made through the medium of a floral well-dressing.…

First against the wall: People who take made-up religions too seriously. You know – people who said they were Jedis on their census forms. And people who follow the entirely mad-up for shits and giggles Church of the Holy Spaghetti Monster to the point that they wear a colander on their head for their driving…

Things have taken a weird turn down in New Zealand where protests against new relaxed water standards have got a little out of hand. Local artist Sam Mahon has taken time out from his busy schedule to build a large statue of Environment Minister Dr Nick Smith, with his trousers down, pooing into a glass…

Sometimes clowns aren’t evil. Actually, that’s a lie. They are very evil. But our spotter Xander pulls a couple of news items out of the archive that sometimes heroes don’t wear capes. Instead they wear red noses, terrifying make-up and bloody great shoes. Unless they are a clown wearing a cape, in which they do…

I think we’re all agreed that a) Scooby Doo was boss, b) Scrappy Doo was the dog-faced child of Satan and c) Velma was the hot one. No. You are wrong. She 100% was hotter than Daphne. SHUT UP. And I think that we’re also agreed that d) the only character who ate Scooby Snacks…

This is all about self-confessed idiot Luke Flesher of Australia’s Gold Coast and his ill-fated drive to the shops. So engrossed was our Luke in his Fantasy Football team, that he completely forgot that he had driven to the shops and walked home. While for most people, the lack of a car in the car…

At any given moment in time, up to two million rancid old mattresses are having sex. Let that sink in. Yeah, where were we? Sexy mattresses. While it’s fine to allow mattresses to make baby mattresses, what is NOT okay is making sweet, sweet love to a mattress. In a car park. In front of members of…

Boris Johnson is in Libya, where he’s telling local warlords to stop thinking about personal ambition and to work for the good of the country. Yeah, that Boris Johnson who drove around in a bus with a big fat porky about £350 million on the side before the EU referendum. So the Libyan Army honoured…