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The Fat Controller is livid about kiddiewinks playing on the railway line
Kids! Stay off the railway lines, or you might find yourself KILLED TO DEATH. Also, don’t follow this guy’s career path, because nobody ever looks good in a mustard-coloured waistcoat. Dundee Evening Telegraph: Kiddiewinks as young as 12 years old caught playing on the railway lines What’s worse is the while they’re scraping bits of shattered kiddiewink…
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Woman curled up in tiny ball of embarrassment after ordering tiny kitchen utensils from Ebay
Ebay regret. We’ve all done it. We’ve all bought something without properly reading the description, and ended up (in my case) with a camera tripod made out of drinking straws, or a gigantic Stay-Puft marshmallow man. Nottingham Post: Bargain jug and glasses bought from Ebay turn out to be dolls house sized After clicking ‘buy it…
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Man angry about Brexit-related Freddo price hike launches fundraising appeal to buy lifetime’s supply
A 33-year-old Freddo fanatic from Essex is so worried about the price of Freddos skyrocketing because of Brexit that he has decided to launch a crowdfunding campaign to raise enough money to buy a ‘lifetime’s supply’ before the United Kingdom leaves the European Union in March 2019. Simon Harris is trying to raise £4200 –…
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Hull Council builds a fence across a man’s drive, have the front to ask him for feedback
Another one from the “You Had One Job” file. A big round of applause for contractors working for Hull City Council who left their brains at home when they went out to work. Hull Daily Mail: Council asks for feedback after cutting man’s drive in half with new fence I’m not a betting man, but I…
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Oxfordshire village ‘cut off’ from the outside world after thieves steal their post box
One of our favourite angry people poses: People pointing to the thing that isn’t there any more. In this case it is an antique Victorian post box, ripped from a wall to satisfy some collector (or, more likely to be melted down for 10 quid’s worth of scrap). Luckily, there is the pile of rubble…
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Steampunk cosplayer is thrown out of family event for being too scary. Twice.
There’s one rule and one rule only for family events held down the park: Don’t frighten the kiddiewinks. And Lee here WENT TOO FAR when he decided that the Grimsby Wonderful World festival was just the right time and place to dress up as a plague doctor, complete with severed head. Grimsby Telegraph: Man is barred entry…
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Plymouth woman is FUMMIN because her bins haven’t been emptied in 12 weeks
Bins again. If the Brexit Remain campaigners had promised regular and efficient bin collections, they would have won easily, such is the importance of bins to the British householder. Plymouth Herald: Plymouth mum says nobody’s been to pick up her backlog of rubbish for three months Oh wait… what’s this coming in on the 11th paragraph?…
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Want to feel old? The pratfall road rage video is already two years old today
Apart from Kate Winslet, Ricky Gervais, Mike Oldfield, and Chris Tarrant, this is Reading’s cultural offering to the world. That, and locking up Oscar Wilde. It’s the time a cyclist with a helmet cam got into a bit of a stoush with and enraged motorist on Zinzan Street, already the town’s classiest street, and the…
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Poole people sick of maggots, demand return of weekly bin collections
It’s all go on the south coast where the roll-out of two-weekly bin collections has not gone down well with some of the locals. And if you like pictures of maggots in the bottom of food waste bins, click through at once because this is your story. Bournemouth Echo: Residents want return to weekly bin collections…
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Bowling ladies throw some hot Beyonce shapes in attempt to save their club
If you have a niche interest in older ladies dancing, then this is the news article for you. Here we have Terry Foster (82), Wyn Hewitt (72), and Janine Halls (“28”) giving The Man what for over a new stadium the local council wants to build on the current location of their club in Melbourne. These…