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From the archives: House fire started by squirrel disrupts funeral
You know how life goes. One thing leads to another and all of a sudden you’re on a personal crusade to kill all the squirrels in the world. We’ve all been there, so do not mock this man whose story seems to be doing the rounds four years after it first came to light in…
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Sweet shop owner says his haunted sweet shop isn’t haunted, but these toilets in Wales definitely are
Something is lurking among the Sherbet Lemons in Nigel Parrott’s sweet shop in Great Yarmouth. BUT IS IT A GHOST? No. No, it is not. It is just Nigel, who is annoyed that everybody seems to think that his establishment is the most haunted sweet shop in the faded seaside glamour that could – quite…
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The Romans in Britain come up against a new enemy: Council bin regulations
Julius Caesar was a tactical genius who swept his armies across Europe scoring victory after victory. But then he never had to ask “Which night is bins?” And now the Roman garrison on the Celtic border with Wales – The XIVth Hipster Legion – has run up against a highly organised foe which it fears…
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Mysterious nasty smell around Burnley has people reaching for the clothes pegs
When people ask “What’s that nasty smell around Burnley?” the more uncharitable among us would reply “That’s Burnley, what of it?” I would be one of those people. But look! They had a nasty smell around Burnley this week which was not the undeniable yet intoxicating odour of Brut 33 aftershave mixed with Jeyes Fluid,…
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A new twist to parking rip-offs: Fined for the time BEFORE you bought a ticket
Car park operators are devious bastards. Park your car for one nano-second longer than what you’ve paid for – BLAMMO – there’s a bill for £100 on your doormat before you even get home from the shops. Now – it appears – they’ve found a new tactic and it stretches the very laws of space…
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It’s five years since a man in Aberdeen got his head stuck in a bin
Doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun? In our case, five years farting about on the internet has truly rushed by, which is why we are – today – celebrating this important anniversary. BBC North East Scotland: Man freed after getting his head stuck in a bin in Aberdeen Having fallen head first into a public…
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Donkey eats German man’s orange sports car thinking it (yeah, right) a giant carrot
If you think donkeys don’t know the difference between a stout British supercar and dinner, then you’re an idiot. I know my classics (Shrek, Shrek 2 and the Shrek Christmas special) and I know that a) all donkeys sound like Eddie Murphy and b)know a McLaren when they see one. This story first appeared in…
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Tenant declares war on the council over the colour of his wall
To Aberdeen, where one man and his paintbrush are in a state of conflict with the pencil-necked desk-pilots at the local council. He painted the wall of his council property gloss red to brighten it up a bit, but the geeks at the council offices were having none of it and painted over his handiwork,…
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Norwich woman declares Hell will freeze over before the city is allowed to line dance again, also something about Princess Diana
Norwich, we need to have a word about line-dancing. This lovely lady, in her autumn years, is putting herself out to bring the internationally renowned art of line-dancing to your fine city, yet you have shown her no interest whatsoever. Surely, we ask, East Anglia is ready for stetson hats, do-si-doing your partner and whatever…
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New Zealander who has been painting yellow lines outside his house will finally get his wish
This guy is one of our repeat offenders, so we’ll be sorry to see him go. But here’s Russell Taylor who has been on a one-man crusade against the drivers of Wellington to prevent them parking outside his home, which he says is on a dangerous blind bend. Stuff NZ: Wellington man can now stop painting…