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Is Henley-on-Thames the dull news capital of the UK?
Home of the Regatta. A town that has boasted both Michael Heseltine and Boris Johnson as its MP. And quite possibly some of the dullest local news in the history of the world. For this we have the Henley Standard to thank, an increasingly rare example of an independent local newspaper that continues to keep…
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In which a reporter doesn’t quite appreciate the meaning of “anonymous source”
It’s all kicking off in Donegal between holiday home owners, and people who live there all year round. Apparently tempers are frayed enough that people don’t want to speak freely to the papers in case they upset neighbours, and would rather be quoted anonymously. The last thing you want is your name in the papers…
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People who presumably need their bins emptied complain about rubbish processing site
We all need our bins emptied. It’s just that we don’t want our rubbish to be taken anywhere near where we live. Middlewich Guardian: Council to allow new rubbish processing facility to open for a trial period to see how things grow, prompting mass thumbs-downing from locals And that is some fine thumbs down work. FACT:…
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Man who lives next to a sandy beach complains about sand
Shit, as they say, just got real. This chap is annoyed that nobody is taking responsibility for the sand on the beach near to his house. Some days it’s on the beach and that’s OK. But other days, a wind gets up and there’s sand everywhere and surely somebody’s to blame. Somerset County Gazette: Why oh why oh…
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Allotment wars in Yarm as row over the price of onions spins out of control
A town is at war. The situation has got so serious that the town clerk is having to protect himself, and council meetings are being held behind closed doors. All over the price of onions in the allotment holders’ shop. Northern Echo: Nice-guy gardener who gives much of his produce away find that his crops have…
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Rugby coach so angry about dog poo he wants to make sure you see dog poo
One of the unwritten rules of local journalism is that when you do a story about poo, you don’t actually show the actual brown pies. Rules (unwritten or otherwise) are made to be broken, and that’s not necessarily a good thing. North Shore Times: “Take a look at the crap I’ve had to clear off my…
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German hausfraus upset as birds poo on their cars
If you thought that angry people pointing at the thing that has annoyed them for their local newspaper is a phenomenon purely in the English-speaking world, then you are wrong. Here are some of the inhabitants of the German city of Wolfsburg taking it out on the local bird population: Wolfsburg Allgemeiner Zeitung (in German): Residents…
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Gardener finds out far too late that Gardening Express aren’t express enough for his garden
To add to our ever-expanding list of people you should never piss off is the English gardener. They have access to sharp tools and bottles of chemicals (often several decades old) that dissident Irish republicans would be pleased to get their hands on. Essex Live: Gardener absolutely fuming that rose plants he ordered three weeks ago…
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The King of Bad E-fits is dead. Long live the new King of Bad E-fits!
Did we ever mention how much we love a bad e-fit? In these days of ultra-modern technology, it still seems that the police knock out their appears posters on MS Paint. Which means – have you seen this villain? Lincs Police: Have you seen this man? Tell him to get his hair cut, the great nerk…
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After the grass-cutting fiasco, the city of Sheffield faces woe over yellow lines
Remember these guys? They were shocked and disgusted after the local council in Sheffield cut their grass verges and didn’t clear up after themselves. Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. Mayor: What do you mean, “biblical”? Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type…