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Public Service Announcement: Please do not put frozen potatoes up your arse
Are we all clear on the frozen potatoes thing? Good. At the very least, we recommend that they are baked to what government health warnings call “piping hot”. The trouble being is that there are warnings about everything because there is always that one person. That one person who is the reason why they have…
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The power of the magic asparagus compels thee!
We have solved a genuine mystery. And the mystery is “Where have I seen this guy before?” So far so compo, but I never forget an angry face, and was convinced I’ve seem him elsewhere. And so it proved. Manchester Evening Post: Asda shopper left FUMMIN over size of his mince pies Christmas was –…
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The World Naked Butler Shortage: A warning from history
Surrey Live: We don’t do those clickbaity ‘Journalist Does Normal Thing’ stories that seem to be all the rage at the moment, except for this one A Journalist Does Normal Thing story has to be truly exceptional to get into the pges of Angry People in Local Newspapers, and when the reporter has a face…
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Regret to report that people are still trying to go on holiday
North Wales Daily Post: Psycho seagulls leave couple prisoners in their own home Yet there they are, outside. Perhaps if they let the seagulls have a go on the trampoline, we could all reach some sort of accommodation. ____________________ Henley Standard: Couple want to know where the police are after car takes out their plant…
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Thirty yards of cycling hell, a nice cup of tea, and a slug
This from the Lancashire Post is local news reporting at its very finest and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Lancashire Post: Local woman rides entire length of new cycle lane Honestly, this video is one minute and 48 seconds of suspense, drama, personal growth, and a happy ending. But it’s a good thing…
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Normal for [insert name of town, city, county, or region]
![Normal for [insert name of town, city, county, or region]](https://apiln.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/000000001-7.jpg)
Everything is, as usual, ruined. And it’s always somebody else’s fault and the only way to express this is through the pages of your local newspaper. Welcome, you.
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The best of December stories so far but not Christmas is RUINED stories because they’ve got their own post thank you
For the best of this year’s Christmas is RUINED stories, click here. ____________________ Gloucestershire Live: Bomb Squad called to local hospital after man gets a WW2 shell stuck up his bumhole The old “I was cataloging my large collection of wartime memorabilia in the nude, and I slipped and fell onto this large artillery weapon,…
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The really very important APILN submission guide
So you’ve found a funny news story to submit to Angry People in Local Newspapers. We get hundreds of submissions every day, which we whittle down to about ten or so for your delight and/or fury. The whole idea is that APILN is a fun look at people’s everyday frustrations about BINS, parking, pencil-necked desk…