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Anything can be improved with the addition of googly eyes – The angry people of April 2023
Once again it’s left to us to point out things that need pointing out. Googly eyes on shopfronts, the need for a Twins sequel, and the mating habits of supermarket trolleys. But what can you do? Oh yes, I remember: Point and laugh at them. Point and laugh at them HARD. Now. Get yer hair…
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APILN: The best of 2023 so far
How is it April already? I suppose now is as good a time as any to collect this year’s best angry stories for your delight and my obsessive nature. Also, I’ve got nothing better to do, and there’s an important story about squirrels. So, here are 22 of the best. BBC News: Woman terrorised by…
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Best of APILN 2022: The disgruntled consumer selection
Angry customers are the bread and butter of Angry People in Local Newspapers, especially if the bread is mouldy, and the butter’s been up a dog’s bottom. So much so, that our wildly popular Best Of post couldn’t do the disgruntled consumers of 2022 justice. So here we are, and let’s start with the film…
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Angry People in Local Newspapers – Greatest Hits of 2022 (and some from 2023)
2022. Among the 2022 years since the world was created (please check – Ed), it was certainly one of them. And through the medium of “forgetting to write down the best local news stories of the year”, we have spent actual days searching out the best local news stories of the year. For those of…
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Christmas is RUINED: 2022 edition
Father Christmas. Saint Nick. Santa Claus. Kris Kringle. That bloke in the Coca Cola adverts. Whatever you call him, he’s a rotten egg. The owner of the most intensive global behavioural surveillance programme of a scope that the government of China can only look upon with longing eyes, do you trust this man with the…
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That’s not what it says on your T-shirt, mate
This is what happens when you don’t update the site for a few weeks – it gets backed up with crap like a pair of Y-fronts stuck in a sewer pipe. Where’s my biggest prodding stick? Here we go, the best of Angry People in Local Newspapers of November 2022 (so far). ____________________ Lancs Live:…
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Town turned into cake, police launch search for Paul Hollywood
The custard shortage is still ongoing, and police believe that the town-into-cake stunt is merely a cover-up for the disappearing [checks notes] ‘dessert sauce’. At the time of publishing, Paul Hollywood is still on the run. ____________________ Ron of the week Daily Mirror: Dog ‘accidentally’ orders £70 of cable TV porn, find it difficult to…
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Hampshire’s gone wrong
Every now and then, one part of the country completely flips out and it’s left to the local press to pick up the pieces. This times it’s [shakes Magic 8-Ball] HAMPSHIRE, come on down!
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‘I found my thrill on toilet brush hill’
We wish to apologise for the following: A man with a mullet, Harry Styles, something that looks like a bog brush, and some very special poetry. Sorry.
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Adequate food containing the meat from at least one named animal, the return of Knight Rider, and a cat
In other news, a local meat packing company has found the missing apprentice who was tasked with cleaning the mincing machine.