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More first world problems as man ‘is forced to move bins’
It looks like we’re having a First World Problems Monday here today as people go running to the press about their struggles with the modern world. And as we’ve said before (and will certainly say again), there’s nothing that winds people up more in the UK than bins. You could have the army shooting people…
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Family’s first world problems trying to connect to Virgin Media
Here’s a thing – cable TV companies will only lay a cable up your street if there are enough people willing to become customers. This man – who already has broadband, but does not want to keep giving coin to the Murdoch empire – has found out the hard way. So – of course –…
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Yoga wars break out in Brighton
Yoga. Peaceful. Serene. A way of life designed to bring the practitioner at one with the world. Oh, who am I trying to kid? SMASH HIS FACE! FINISH HIM!! Brighton Argus: Punches thrown as rival yoga gurus fight in midnight brawl One of the people involved is called “Yoga Stu”, a genuine, much coveted and ancient name…
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Poo flinger on the loose in northern Australia
Australia’s Northern Territory is a place where weird stuff happens. Most of this weird stuff involves crocodiles, alcohol, or a mixture of the two. Occasionally, it involves turds. The NT News: Faeces tosser on the rampage at Darwin residential block “I just got home from work and I hear this ‘plonk’ sound and it was this…
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Ted complains about the state of road signs, snails, officialdom and bollards
We’ve been doing this angry people game for a few years now, to the point that you begin to see the same old faces turning up again and again. People who have had their moment of fame in the local press, quite liked it, and have gone back for more. And having made eye contact…
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Vandals vandalise anti-vandal fence
This story is set at a place called Gordon Bennett Memorial Hall, so we had to go and check to see if it wasn’t some sort of fakey news. Nope. This is 100% genuine angry pointing. Rotherham Advertiser: Anti-vandal fence is vandalised within an hour of installation Despite the unpleasant scenario, you have got to be…
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Peppa Pig ‘taught my daughter to swear’ – The F***ing Gazelles Controversy
Of all the urban myths surrounding Peppa Pig (most of them being spread by dingbats who think the cartoon is offensive to Muslims), this is the one that won’t go away. And quite rightly, for the jury is out over whether Mr Rabbit said “Rocking Gazelles” or “F***ing Gazelles”. Because Mr Rabbit is a foul-mouthed…
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Firefighter’s response to The Sun makes him double the hero he was already
The word “hero” gets bandied about a lot these days, and is often applied to people who do not deserve it at all. But we can all agree that anybody who spent hours in the flaming hell of the Grenfell Tower fire are among the best that humanity has to offer. And the firefighter known…
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Thieves steal half a zebra crossing in Telford
If it’s not nailed down, some sod will come along and nick it. And that includes zebra crossings, and we swear this isn’t fakey news. Shropshire Star: Thieves make off with the black bits of a zebra crossing You’ll notice there doesn’t appear to be much call for white zebra crossings in the criminal community. So,…
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Residents at new estate have gone months without a phone
Back in the day, you had to write to the Post Office and they’d consider your application to have a telephone in your home. It was done on a Strictly No Riff-raff basis. Now they let just anybody have a phone line, and look where it’s got us. Lynn News: Residents of new housing estate fuming…