If it’s not nailed down, some sod will come along and nick it.
And that includes zebra crossings, and we swear this isn’t fakey news.
Shropshire Star: Thieves make off with the black bits of a zebra crossing
You’ll notice there doesn’t appear to be much call for white zebra crossings in the criminal community.
So, if somebody comes up to you in a pub and offers you a cheap zebra crossing, the number to call is 999.
And I can reveal that the swear was not inadjacent to See You Next Tuesday.
That number again: 999.