Christmas is RUINED: The 2021 collection

It doesn’t take much to RUIN Christmas for everybody these days. Try to avoid these unfortunate scenarios to avoid having to run to your local newspaper about the death of this year’s festive season.

Wolverhampton Express and Star: Christmas is RUINED after the Coco-Cola truck cancels stop in Wolverhampton

Top tip: Avoiding ruining your Christmas by simply not relying on a corporate promotion to bring you happiness. And also by not living in Wolverhampton.


Ayrshire Post: Christmas is RUINED after vandals steal sweet baby Jesus for the second time

Top tip: Avoid the complete ruination of Christmas and everything it stands for by fixing sweet baby Jesus to your nativity display with ferro-concrete. Or simply plug sweet baby Jesus into the mains electricity to give any future vandals a festive shock!!!!


Manchester Evening News: Christmas is RUINED by disappointing Asda mince pies

Top tip: Avoid yuletide let-downs by observing the depth of your intended mince pie purchases through the packaging. Alternatively, avail yourself to the mountain of local news clickbait “Which mince pies are the best?” articles.


Bury Times: Christmas is RUINED for kiddiewink because of low-quality Santa

Top tip: Avoid ruining your kiddiewink’s Santa experience by perhaps not taking them to an event run by the local youth club where some poor sod has drawn the short straw to wear the ill-fitting and moth-eaten Santa suit this year. Alternatively, avail yourself to the mountain of local news clickbait “Which local Santa experience is the best?” articles.


Derbyshire Times: Christmas is RUINED after shifty Winter Wonderland experience is cancelled

Top-tip: Try not to give all your money to shifty Winter Wonderland experiences. This may save your Christmas from being RUINED.


On The Spot News: Christmas is RUINED by low quality town centre Christmas tree

Grimsby Telegraph: Christmas is RUINED by low quality town centre Christmas tree

BBC Leeds & West Yorkshire: Christmas is RUINED after health and safety gone mad lights up only half of town’s Christmas tree

Top tip: Councils could avoid ruining Christmas by simply spending more than twenty pounds on their municipal Christmas tree.


Edinburgh Live: Christmas is RUINED by eye-watering prices at the local Christmas market

Doncaster Free Press: Christmas is RUINED by poorly organised Christmas market with eye-watering prices and stalls full of tat

Top-tip: Avoid Christmas market disappointment by getting drunk on mulled wine in the comfort of your own home and buying crappy present from online tat market eBay.


Families Online: Christmas is RUINED after kids spuff £40 on a Christmas tree from a shonky online seller and get a twig

Top tip: Avoid ruining your Christmas by buying your Christmas tree from reputable sellers, or by simply stealing your local town centre’s disappointing tree from outside WH Smith.


And lest we forget this one from 2018

Everywhere, to be honest: Christmas is RUINED after family takes 11 days to notice that daughter’s advent calendar contains cat treats

Top tip: Avoid ruining Christmas for your kiddiewinks by not buying an advent calendar from the pet section of Wilkos.