WARNING: This article contains a photo of an actual turd, and don’t say we didn’t warn you. When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go. But not in a demonstration toilet in a DIY store. Of course, somebody had to go there. Cue full-screen picture of a turd. NZ Herald: Hunt for DIY store pooper following…

I think we can all agree that the last couple of years have been the stupidest in human history. And we’re saying that against some pretty stiff opposition. Somebody once thought putting lead into petrol was a really good idea, for example. The stupid bastard. So why not illustrate the point that human stupidity is…

It’s all kicking off in Donegal between holiday home owners, and people who live there all year round. Apparently tempers are frayed enough that people don’t want to speak freely to the papers in case they upset neighbours, and would rather be quoted anonymously. The last thing you want is your name in the papers…

Reading’s Simon Smith is a hero for our times. Knocked flat by a Reading Buses no.17 service to Tilehurst in Reading town centre, but calmly got up and walked directly into the Purple Turtle bar. Not even a near death experience keeps a Berkshire man away from his pint (even though 9am might still be…

Australia. Where the wildlife will kill you as soon as look at you. From cute little lambs, to fierce koala bears that drop from the trees and rip your head off, everything in Straya is there for one reason only: To kill you. Now the foxes are messing with us. ABC Rural: Weather station in Western…

FACT: There are no famous people from Belgium. None at all. “Ah-ha!” you say, “What about Hercules Parrot, the famous Belgian detective? Surely he’s Belgian and famous?” Alas not, because he is entirely made up, leaving us with this many famous Belgians: NONE. That is until now, for we can now add the Phantom Library…

News reaches us at APILN Towers of a hideous accident involving a naked sunbather and a large bird of prey mistaking his knackers for a tasty snack. But, you know, it all looks too good to be true and that got our FAKE NEWS spidey sense twitching. With the boundaries between truth and fiction increasingly…

As you may already know, I quite like trains. In fact, for complicated reasons, I have found myself a subscriber to Steam Railway magazine recently. And here’s something that will really (oh ho!) get the steam up among rail enthusiasts!!! But only if you get your thrills from really very tiny plastic figurines. Chronicle Live: Middlesborough…

Hey kids, just say no to drugs. You might think it’s cool to inject marijuana, but before you know it you’ll end up like this Australian version of Zammo McGuire, KILLED COMPLETELY TO DEATH in tragi-comic circumstances. Cairns Times: Man smokes a metric crap-ton of Ice, tries to engage in an act of sexual congress with…