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Yoga wars break out in Brighton
Yoga. Peaceful. Serene. A way of life designed to bring the practitioner at one with the world. Oh, who am I trying to kid? SMASH HIS FACE! FINISH HIM!! Brighton Argus: Punches thrown as rival yoga gurus fight in midnight brawl One of the people involved is called “Yoga Stu”, a genuine, much coveted and ancient name…
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Poo flinger on the loose in northern Australia
Australia’s Northern Territory is a place where weird stuff happens. Most of this weird stuff involves crocodiles, alcohol, or a mixture of the two. Occasionally, it involves turds. The NT News: Faeces tosser on the rampage at Darwin residential block “I just got home from work and I hear this ‘plonk’ sound and it was this…
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Thieves steal half a zebra crossing in Telford
If it’s not nailed down, some sod will come along and nick it. And that includes zebra crossings, and we swear this isn’t fakey news. Shropshire Star: Thieves make off with the black bits of a zebra crossing You’ll notice there doesn’t appear to be much call for white zebra crossings in the criminal community. So,…
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The best worst opening two paragraphs of any local news item ever
American local news journalism is very different to its British cousin. While we stick to the tried and tested top line >>> story >>> context format that has stood the test of time, US writers seem to think that every story is a potential Pulitzer Prize winner which needs to be told as an actual…
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Police in Halifax padlock their milk to prevent theft
It’s exactly like living in a university halls of residence. Except this is a look into the murky world of office politics at Halifax police station, where not even the milk is safe. And we don’t blame them, the place is full of criminals. Huddersfield Examiner: Police resort to extreme measures to protect their milk from…
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Woman locked in bank – now with video!
Poor Cat Slater. Not only does she have to go through life sharing a name with someone out of EastEnders (presumably with people bawling “YOU’RE NOT MY MUM!” at her), but she’s now become world famous around Manchester for getting locked in a bank. And, of course, the BBC is there: https://www.facebook.com/BBCNW/videos/1548928515138205/ In the words…
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Woman chains herself up in a bid to stop smoking
There’s desperation and there’s desperation. Then there’s this Aussie, who is so desperate to give up the smokes that she’s chained herself to the bed. With actual chains and everything. ABC News: Woman goes to extreme measures to give up smoking And what – we ask – happens if the house burns down? She’ll be inhaling…