It’s the hottest day of the year, and I am typing this in a pool of my own sweat. I would – quite honestly – commit murder for a nice, cold ice cream with chocolate bits stirred in. But this story from the Plymouth Herald, the UK’s premier source of furious news, comes with more…

It looks like we’re having a First World Problems Monday here today as people go running to the press about their struggles with the modern world. And as we’ve said before (and will certainly say again), there’s nothing that winds people up more in the UK than bins. You could have the army shooting people…

Here’s a thing – cable TV companies will only lay a cable up your street if there are enough people willing to become customers. This man – who already has broadband, but does not want to keep giving coin to the Murdoch empire – has found out the hard way. So – of course –…

We’ve been doing this angry people game for a few years now, to the point that you begin to see the same old faces turning up again and again. People who have had their moment of fame in the local press, quite liked it, and have gone back for more. And having made eye contact…

This story is set at a place called Gordon Bennett Memorial Hall, so we had to go and check to see if it wasn’t some sort of fakey news. Nope. This is 100% genuine angry pointing. Rotherham Advertiser: Anti-vandal fence is vandalised within an hour of installation Despite the unpleasant scenario, you have got to be…

Of all the urban myths surrounding Peppa Pig (most of them being spread by dingbats who think the cartoon is offensive to Muslims), this is the one that won’t go away. And quite rightly, for the jury is out over whether Mr Rabbit said “Rocking Gazelles” or “F***ing Gazelles”. Because Mr Rabbit is a foul-mouthed…

Back in the day, you had to write to the Post Office and they’d consider your application to have a telephone in your home. It was done on a Strictly No Riff-raff basis. Now they let just anybody have a phone line, and look where it’s got us. Lynn News: Residents of new housing estate fuming…

Blackpool: Twinned with a hole in the ground filled with turds and vomit where seagulls are eating the turds and vomit, and two drunks are fighting over who gets to punch the seagull. It’s a unique place, filled with …err… unique people, most of whom are trying to sell something to you that you didn’t…

This man has had enough of local pigeons perching on the railway bridge and pooing on the road below. I should pretty much think there’s a danger to kiddiewinks, which is the decisive factor in any local battle against the elements of nature. Lancashire Telegraph: Time to take action on pigeon poo (before a kiddiewink is…

People these days. Get a few hundred tiny and possibly fatal spiders on their fruit, and they’re running round in circles and going to the papers. Back in my day, we’d just sit quietly in a state of venom-induced paralysis until the effects wore off and go back to our daily lives. Plymouth Herald: Woman encounters…