It’s funny because “bush” is also a slang term for pubic hair, and despite the niche interest on certain corners of the internet, she’s not going to do anything to make her shrubbery more manageable for passers-by.
Just so we’re clear.
Those traffic bollards that looks like kids get more realistic by the day.
And speaking of which…
You guys need to get some of those bollards that look like kiddiewinks. They’re really realistic these days, you know.
If only there were some way to give junior footballers access to indoor toilets so that they don’t have to urinate in the open.
Coventry Telegraph: Woman who thought she had won the lottery, hadn’t won the lottery
That’s it. There is nothing else to this story.
Better luck next week.
Nottingham Post: Council leader slams £500k cycle path as ‘huge waste of money’
That may be as well, but why have the Post chosen to illustrate this story with photographs from the weigh-in for a regional middleweight boxing final at the local sports centre?
Knife crime is awful, people, but please spare a thought for the door staff at these venues. Times are hard for former Slytherins.
Barnsley Chronicle: Buses axed due to anti-social behaviour by The Kids
This man is (probably) not a school headmaster, but he has the air of a school headmaster who says that the tuck shop will remain closed until behaviour improves in the lower sixth.
Where would this page be without these alliterations from the Superbly Sarcastic Stoke Sentinel?
And while we’re here…
The drink, not the drug, we should point out. Desperate Dan’s desperate, but not that desperate.