Royal Wedding Dull News Extravaganza: Day Two – Harry and Meghan boogaloo

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After yesterday’s opening salvo of desperately dull news on the forthcoming royal wedding, the stories are coming in thick and fast.

So let’s see what our fair nation brings us as we await this happiest of events.

Cambridge News: Man is quite looking forward to the royal wedding

There is “quite looking forward to the royal wedding” and “going completely and utterly over the top”, but luckily he has stopped short of the Union Jack suit that could end up frightening kiddiewinks.

And he’s such a fan, Harry and Meghan have popped round for tea, look.

Although, I can’t help thinking the Meghan cut-out is simply reversioned stock of unsold Posh Spice masks from the late 1990s.

Perhaps George here could walk Meghan up the aisle now that her old man’s been forced to cry off because our national newspapers are tossers.

Speaking of which…

Kent Online: Staged photographs of Thomas Markle were taken by local photographer

Canterbury – you have brought shame on the entire nation. HANG YOUR HEADS.

Wales Online: A list of all 17 royal wedding street parties in Wales

With a population of just over 3,000,000, that means organisers can expect around 176,000 people to turn up to each one.

We hope they’ve ordered in enough cake and Union flags.

Meanwhile, in corporate Britain:

Megabus: Spot our oh-so-hilarious Mega’n’Harry bus, win a meal at a terrible restaurant packed to the gills with tourists

Don’t know about you, but I’m 100% up for it.

 

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