There’s a royal wedding coming, and that can only mean one thing – mind-bendingly dull local news takes trying to find their own angle on the nuptials.
Some may be dull, some may be vaguely horrific, but others hit the G-spot and land slap bang in the middle of dull and horror.
And that is why we need to record these moments for the ages.
Chronicle Live: Sunderland-based student creates life-size Harry and Meghan cake
All very nice, and a spiffing local angle.
But it also show why humans are not meant to meddle with what does not live.
Look at it.
LOOK AT IT.
The villagers in Frankenstein had the right idea with their pitchforks and burning torches, and the same must happen again before this blasphemy is runs amok, slaying thousands.
If you’re interested in the achievement behind this cake, Lara Mason is your (not actually evil) genius to consult.
Basingstoke Gazette: Shop has a royal wedding window display
The Gazette’s never been the same since one-time royal bride Sarah Ferguson came out of nearby Dummer, and they’ve never quite coped with the fact that the Duchess of Cambridge was born in rival town Reading just up thew A33.
Other royal connections are the fact that you can reach that underpass in Paris where Princess Diana died by going up the M3, round the M25 a bit, then following your satnav.
This shop, however, has a royal wedding display made out of hat boxes, and that’s quite enough excitement, thank you.
Boston Standard: Lincolnshire couple getting married on Saturday
Every happiness Michaela and Alex, every happiness.
Don’t let that posh couple in Windsor spoil your day.