Ron’s Gone Wrong and other stories

So, I spotted this bus outside IKEA, and – frankly – it was asking for it. And while we’re here, let’s take a look at the best of recent Angry People In Local Newspapers stories.

Hampshire Live: Couple threaten to sue after getting drunk, breaking into Aldershot Lido in the middle of the night and breaking their legs going down the water slide

Strong Darwin Award contenders from Aldershot Lido, which, coincidentally, is next door to the town crematorium. And yes, the got onto national television over this, which goes to prove that if you do stupid things, you win stupid prizes.


Stuff NZ: Fury as those pencil-necked desk jockeys at the council stop paying city-appointed wizard after over 20 years in the job

The worst thing for Poundshop Gandalf here is that if one wants to complain, one cannot simply walk into the council offices. You need to make an appointment, or turn them into a newt.


Donegal Daily: Mick Hucknall furious as biogas facility is given the go-ahead near his salmon fishing estate

We didn’t like the picture in the story, so here’s a shot of the time he met Prince William instead.

Something’s got him started.


The Scotsman: Andy Murray is sad after losing wedding ring and tennis shoes which he’d left under his car

Superb sadfacing here from the former world number one, and it opens up a fascinating new career when he eventually retires from tennis.

On the bright side, he got his property back, which is why – occasionally – we are allowed nice things.


East Anglia Daily Times: Daniel Craig lookalike fears that work will dry up after actual Daniel Craig steps down from 007 role

If he’s a Daniel Craig lookalike, then I’m Sean Connery.


My London: Tooting dads aim to shame fly-tippers with one of those new-fangled ‘Instagram’ accounts

They look like they’re about to drop the toughest, dirtiest grime album of 2021, about mattresses.


And finally…

Teesside Live: We don’t do court reports, but 100 points to Teesside Live for catching the perfect photograph of a drug-driver outside the court building

All court reports should carry the least flattering photograph of the convicted as possible. Justice, as they say, needs to be done, and needs to be seen to be done.


Now off you go the cinema and see this epic tale of mirth and woe.