North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un. Not a big fan of the human rights-violating, uncle-murdering dictator if I’m going to be honest with you.
But people pay me a living wage to look at pictures of Kim Jong-un looking at things, and it’s a game that anybody can play.
So why does Kim Jong-un look at things?
He’s the God-like leader of the country, and as such he knows everything. It is his patriotic duty – like his father before him – to his people to go round and tell them how to make shoes, hydro-electric dams and nuclear weapons properly.
Flunkies take photographs of him looking at things, and that’s where the grim comedy begins.
Who are the flunkies with the notepads?
Kim’s word is law. And who knows what important wisdom he will impart? Miss the Supreme Leader’s remarks, that’s a gulag-ing.
[It’s all for show really, Kim’s briefed beforehand, and he only really knows about uncle-killing and large meals. The BBC explains everything]
Yeah, fair enough, but what about the pictures?
Sheesh, tough audience.
Kim Looking At Lube is my favourite news photograph of all time. Apart from Virgin Media Ron, obviously.
Still here? Your regular reminder: We are all laughing at pictures of the world’s worst human right abuser.
You didn’t see that. Keep scrolling.
That’s a Jaws reference, by the way. You’re welcome.
Kim Jong-un looking at things is the gift that keeps on giving. So more pictures of the world’s leading human rights criminal as they come in.
One final question: Where can I shop the look?
You mean the Mao jacket and the super-wide hide-the-fact-you’re-a-huge-bloater-waxing-fat-on-the-starvation-of-your-own-people trousers?
We recommend Man at SPECTRE, the highly respected and very evil gents’ outfitters, just off Bond Street in London. These guys swear by them.
Any further questions?