Actually, we’re pretty sure this is either James Blunt or Nicholas Lyndhurst.
The value of celebrity lookalikes may go down as well as up.
Kent Live: Customer receives apology from Tesco after snotgate incident
Yeah, our money’s on singer and former soldier James Blunt in a lovely wig and fake fur coat, perusing the offers in the chilled goods aisle.
In fact, it is a question we have put to him on Twitter. He does not reply.
Meanwhile, in Swindon:
Swindon Advertiser: Network Rail piling works cracked my toilet, says Bernard Cribbins
Fancy doing all that stuff with The Railway Children, and the railway leaving you up to your ankles in your own turds.
Alternatively, it could be Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn complaining that Network Rail piling work has cracked his toilet, but he’s just going to use the midden at the bottom of his allotment.
And life remains tough in Celeb Land.
Reading Post: Derren Brown-a-like forced to make lamp out of a torch and a carrier bag as power fails over festive period
And as bad as Derren-a-like’s Christmas was, it’s great to see the famous using their initiative when the lights go out.
Bolton News: Midge Ure out of Ultravox having trouble getting rid of his old carpets
He’ll get rid of them soon. One Small Day.
Manchester Evening News: Bloke who didn’t buy a ticket has loads of other tickets from the times that he did buy one, finds that isn’t much of a defence
You are Danny Dyer from the (s)hit movie version of Run For Your Wife and I claim my five pounds.
Worcester News: One of the Bee Gees gets a parking ticket and he’s not pleased
I hope he wears a helmet. Come off and he’ll have trouble Staying Alive.
Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Paddy the vet from Emmerdale angry that public toilets are set to close
Can’t hold his ale, see.
Oxford Times: Artists dismayed as hospital turns down their wood carvings
Yes please, I’d like to go through life looking like Rolf Harris.
And finally…
Lyme Regis View: Councillor vows to tie himself to advertising rotunda if council agrees to have it moved
In other news, I didn’t realise Rick Wakeman was into that Fifty Shades stuff.