This man has had enough of local pigeons perching on the railway bridge and pooing on the road below.

I should pretty much think there’s a danger to kiddiewinks, which is the decisive factor in any local battle against the elements of nature.

Lancashire Telegraph: Time to take action on pigeon poo (before a kiddiewink is killed, or something)

Because if it’s not pigeons it’s seagulls. Or killer sparrows.

Plymouth Herald: Herald journalist says that seagull attacked his car over some sort of feathery, beaky grudge

Or because seagulls are bastards. That, actually.

I once caught a flock of seagulls crapping on my car. Man, those 80s bands are out of control.