Don’t (oh-ho! again) HAVE A COW, man!!!!

But then, it’s appearance is (oh-ho-ho!!!) UDDERLY ridiculous, but the picture looks like the residents are totally (oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!!) MILKING it.

Toronto Star: Charlestown residents not particularly pleased after large cow on stilts appears outside their homes

I call (oh-ho!) BULL – cows can’t even use stilts. I ought to know, I’ve wasted years and killed scores trying to teach them this most basic of circus skills.

For one resident it’s not how it looks, it’s because he’s 100% Old Testament smiting:

“I come from a Christian background and this is actually one of the worst things you can do, is to raise a calf; it’s facing the cathedral.”

Yep, God’s going to come down to Toronto and shit the place up over a cow statue, unless they (oh-ho!!) MOO-VE it.

And at least they’ve got a statue, the ingrates.

Reading Evening Post: Dirty, rotten thieves stole my Rupert Bear statue

Keep it down, pal. We’re still mourning the loss of our life-sized statue of Barney the Purple Dinosaur, and you don’t see us running to the local press.

But would a large silver craven image of a cow be a suitable replacement? I know where you can get one.