Crime hits the streets of Brampton in Cumbria, as thieves make off with £40,000 of musical instruments in a night time raid.
While this story may pass unnoticed, even with it’s APILN-worthy photograph of the aggrieved shop owner, it’s when Cumbria News and Star sub-editors took over that it all took new levels of madness.
Cumbria News and Star: Thousands of pounds worth of instruments stolen from Cumbria supplier
Owner Ian Warnes: “We are disgusted. We will recover but it’s a bit of a set back.”
But that’s not going to sell papers. But this work of genius by sub-editor Anthony Ferguson will:
That is, we think you will agree, perfect headline work (but only if you are old and know about the band Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark, and I am old).
So, of course, I had to alert the band, and this happened:
We’ve got one! Happened to be passing through Cumbria on tour pic.twitter.com/7AIBr7n0VP
— Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (@OfficialOMD) November 19, 2017
For the uninitiated, that is front man Andy McCluskey, in a convenience store on his way to Glasgow for a gig, also clutching a packet of jelly babies and some Tunnock’s caramel wafers.
This is – by some distance – the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
Oh, and radio’s Steve Lamacq wanted to know if we remember another news story which played on a similar OMD pun.
Why yes, we say. Yes there was.
Hereford Times (2001): Four Kestrels Manoeuvre in the Dark
And ten years later…
Spalding Guardian (2011): Four Kestrels Manoeuvre in the Dark
Despite this gorgeous punning, we admit it is nothing when compared to this effort from the Scottish Sun several years ago.