The newspaper ad board is an art form – how can you sell the top story in (at most) half-a-dozen words?

You’d think it would be easy. It’s not.

Get down on your knees, you bloody heathens

It was, in fact, a meerkat. With an improbable Russian accent.

RIP PIE MAN U R IN HEVEN WIV DA ANGLES N PRICNESS DIANA xxx

One should bloody well hope so, or I’d want my money back

And we’re sure there is an entirely rational basis to this story that is not based on very hard drugs

We’ve got loads of these, but do send your own submissions in at the Facebook page when you spot them in the street.