Today’s local newspaper fury all one one handy page for you to cut out and keep.
Please click through to help support local journalism.
FACT: In the southern hemisphere, spectral vortices go anti-clockwise
Peterborough Today: Anger over huge pile-up of rubbish on Peterborough street
A classic combination of BINS and Done a Poo.
Aberdeen Press and Journal: Petrol station granted 24-hour food licence despite locals’ fears of rioting
At last, somebody is addressing the link between 24-hour food for sale in garages and [checks notes] rioting in the north-east of Scotland
Somerset Live: Punter left FUMMIN after pub staff smash up his glasses
“I hate this compensation culture we live in,” says man claiming £2,000 in compensation.
Brighton Argus: Councillors want action over dangerous shrub
Wanna feel old? This is what the Knights Who Say Ni look like today.
You will note that there is no hi-vis for the oldiewonks, who are clearly expendable.
And here are the best of today’s weird headlines:
Seal touchers, the new menace to society.
Energy FM: Ladder stolen
Police are taking steps. Thank you, I’m here all week, tip your waitress.