Uncle Albert! Flummoxed oldiewonks! Flying rubber johnnies! Here’s the best of today’s Angry People in Local Newspapers.
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Grimsby Live: ‘Used’ condom flies out of Co-op fridge and strikes shoppers
They’ve become sentient and will take over the world.
Stuff NZ: ‘Code brown’ effluent stench washes over Wellington suburb after heavy rain
It’s Uncle Albert!
Get Surrey: Communities team up to oppose new parcel depot
It’s the single raised fist that makes this.
Stuff NZ: Timaru tree mystery leaves them stumped
And here is a man who is the very dictionary definition of stumped.
NW Evening Mail: Heartless vandals smash up pupils’ pumpkins
If you’re after a suspect, look no further than that owl. That smirk is covering up a multitude of sins.
Metro: Man sacked for parading through warehouse in elephant thong
The Archbishop of Banterbury strikes again.
Essex Echo: Health and safety preventing Benfleet church from remembering fallen soldiers
If only they were part of a national religious organisation worth in excess of eight billion pounds which could pay for the safety work.
No. No, that’s ridiculous.
FAKEY NEWS EXTRA
There Is News: Man arrested for putting fake arrow decals on the floor in IKEA and creating a labyrinth with no exit
I can’t believe people think this is real. But it is very, very funny.
WEIRD NEWS UPDATE
The Scotsman: Boy, ten, turfed out of Nando’s while on date with his girlfriend
Quality.
Nottingham Post: Man calls 999 because he refuses to break into a £10 for 3p at petrol station
More evidence, if it were needed, that our society is doomed.