Underwater planes! The return of acid house! The inevitable outcome of the collision between beavers and crystal meth! It’s a bumper round-up from Angry People in Local Newspapers.
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We’ve finally reached the point in school uniforms when even the school doesn’t know what the uniform is.
Actual story: Council offices respond to concerns that public bonfire may contain unsafe articles, bonfire goes ahead as planned.
North Wales Daily Post: Residents oppose new chimney designed to tackle smell from pet food factory
Aside from the welcome comeback of the Acid House movement, NO TO CHIMNEY’S.
Grimsby Telegraph: Rats ‘running up and down’ after bins go unemptied for three weeks
So there you have it, final proof that if you don’t empty the bins for three weeks, the neighbourhood turns into a stinking rubbish dump. I hope there is a scientific journal which can publish these findings.
My eyes have rolled so far back in my head that I’ve seen my own brain.
Guernsey Press: Loose drain covers rips off car’s exhaust
Oh, that loose drain cover.
Not a good look, Wetherspoons. Not a good look at all.
WEIRD NEWS ROUND-UP
You had one job.
That’s not how time works, you plum.
Ah, random mammals and crystal meth, together at last.
The Bolton News: Patient flees hospital in stolen dumper truck
Let he who hasn’t broken out of hospital in a stolen dumper truck cast the first stone.
Isle of Wight County Press: It’s a crisp shaped like the Isle of Wight
I’ve seen crisps before, but this looks important.