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Ten reasons that prove DIE HARD is a Christmas movie and one that proves it is not

Is Die Hard a Christmas movie, or merely a violent action movie set at Christmas?

I contend that it is not, and anybody who thinks otherwise is a gold-plated IDIOT, but – even-handed person that I am – I’m prepared to listen to the evidence to the contrary.

So, let us unravel the truth.

Sgt Al Powell, the real hero of Nakatomi Plaza.

TEN ELEVEN TWELVE REASONS WHY DIE HARD IS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE

  1. Bruce Willis is in a lot of danger in the film – replace the D with an M and you get MANGER, which is where Mary laid the Baby Jesus, this being what Christmas is all about.
  2. A key sequence in the film is on the roof of Nakatomi Plaza. Where does Santa Claus land his sleigh at Christmas? ON THE ROOF.
  3. Villain Hans Gruber is from Germany, where Christmas was invented.
  4. In Die Hard, Bruce Willis’s estranged wife is called HOLLY, which is traditionally associated with Christmas.
  5. According to IMDB, Carol Land is credited as being the assistant to director John McTiernan. At Christmas time, people gather together to sing CAROLS.
  6. Die Hard features people who are naughty, and people who are nice, JUST LIKE SANTA’S LIST
  7. In Die Hard, Bruce Willis says the phrase “Yippie-Ki-Yay Motherf—er”, which are the names of two of the Three Kings who visited the Baby Jesus at Christmas. The third was called ….Hans Gruber!
  8. In the film, nobody believes that Nakatomi Plaza is under attack by the bad guys – just like Christmas is under attack from POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD.
  9. The film Die Hard is set in present-day Los Angeles. At Christmas, we traditionally give friends and family PRESENTS. Coincidence? Maybe not.
  10. Villain Alan Rickman also played Alexander Dane in the film Galaxy Quest, where he delivered the memorable line “By Grabthar’s hammer… what a savings”. At Christmas time, people look forward to the sales on Boxing Day, where they hope to make substantial savings.
  11. After finding himself short of one present on Christmas Eve, where a good little boy had asked for a replica weapon as a toy, Santa managed to get hold of one at the last minute and exclaimed “Ho-Ho-Ho now I have a machine gun”. A lesson for us all about the human spirit.
  12. The film Die Hard mentions the name “Jesus” or “Jesus Christ” twelve times in its script. The Christmas holiday celebrates the birth of Jesus.

REASONS WHY DIE HARD IS NOT A CHRISTMAS MOVIE

  1. It just isn’t. QED.

 

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