As you may already know, I quite like trains. In fact, for complicated reasons, I have found myself a subscriber to Steam Railway magazine recently.

And here’s something that will really (oh ho!) get the steam up among rail enthusiasts!!!

But only if you get your thrills from really very tiny plastic figurines.

Chronicle Live: Middlesborough hobby shop causes a stir with its line of sexxxy German model railway figurines

Says the paper: “The German firm also manufactures miniature doggers, prostitutes, peeping Toms and nudists – as well as amorous pigs.”

At eight quid a shot, you’d be better served watching a load of filthy movies on Virgin Media and then denying all knowledge.

So glad they’ve got a tiny sofa in the range. The Fat Controller’s going to need somewhere to sit down once he finds out what’s happening in the station car park.

And in case you’re wondering, EVERYTHING in the railway hobby is some sort of sexy slang:

Don’t worry. Already reported to the authorities.