Sad kiddiewinks – a spotter’s guide


Sad kiddiewinks are a staple of local news coverage.

Nothing pulls harder at the heartstrings that the quivering lower lip of a wronged kiddiewink.

Just nick their school pet, and – hey presto – guaranteed local newspaper gold.

Brighton Argus: Sad kiddiewinks appeal for new whiteboards for cash-strapped school

Quite a lot going on here, but at least everybody is more-or-less on message. What you don’t need is that kiddiewink in the background who thinks it’s all just one great beezer of a wheeze.

Hexham Courant: Kiddiewinks upset as yobs vandalise their school

Always a risk if the kiddiewinks are sitting down, as mixed with sadfaces one inevitably looks like they’re taking a crap.

Ham and High: Kiddiewinks hold protest about school pollution levels

One good way to make sure everybody’s pulling the same sadface is to cover them completely with face masks. But they you run the risk that a ghost kid from the 70s will turn up and completely spoil everything.

Manchester Evening News: Mum told her kiddiewinks can’t have more than three toys in the front garden at once

As we said, there’s always that one kiddiewink who goes off-message.

Let’s hear it for kiddiewinks!!