It’s exactly like living in a university halls of residence.

Except this is a look into the murky world of office politics at Halifax police station, where not even the milk is safe.

And we don’t blame them, the place is full of criminals.

Huddersfield Examiner: Police resort to extreme measures to protect their milk from thieves

Out of shot: A sandwich marked with “I let my dog lick this” and a can of Coke Zero wired up to a Taser.

Milk theft is not a victimless crime.

And if the police can’t stop milk theft, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Southwark News: 800 cartons of milk stolen from the kiddiewinks

Who – we ask – would stoop so low as to steal milk from primary school children?

Luckily, we have a very accurate police e-fit of the suspect.

As they say on Crimewatch UK: Don’t have nightmares.