‘Pharma bro’ Martin Shkreli convicted of fraud and now we need to have a serious talk about courtroom sketches

You’re familiar with pharma bro Martin Shkreli, right?

He’s the guy whose pharmacy comapny bought up the rights to a drug for AIDS patients and increased the price by 5.000%.

And now he’s convicted fraudster pharma bro Martin Shkreli.

But the reason we’re here isn’t about his conviction (but just rejoice at that news, as Thatch once said), but because of the courtroom sketches that accompanied his trial.

All we can say is that the court-appointed artists worked hard to capture his inate arsehole-ness and succeeded. Well done to everybody involved.

If you ever want a portrait of somebody made to look like Gollum, then go directly to your local court and accost the first person you see with a sketch pad.

So. Let’s go down the rabbit hole that is the world of the court sketch artist, people employed to give the world an idea of how the courts process works when cameras are not allowed inside.

Convicted paedo Gary Glitter here, looking very badly drawn here in the court of the Noncefinder General. He’s still locked up.

American sportsman Tom Brady, who ended up in court because he once let some air out of a football. His ultimate humiliation was this court sketch.

Terrorist Carlos the Jackal, as seen by a court artist who likes to show off that they know how to draw hands. Top hand-work.

Actual Jesus. He did some bad shit, but they forgave him because Jennifer Aniston was his brief and the judge is a big fan.

No idea what’s going on here, but the beak doesn’t appear to be a fan. Extra marks for capturing the side-eye.

Uh-huh. I get the feeling they spent AGES doing this one, because it’s difficult to get big hair just right. Also, bosoms.

Give courtroom sketch artists a pay rise. They deserve it.

UPDATE:

Courtesy of an APILN Facebook page member (who is also in this image, and delighted at the flattering likeness) is Coronation Street actor Michael Le Vell, who was eventually cleared of 19 charges against him in Manchester Crown Court.

I don’t think TV’s Kevin Webster would be pleased at the size of his ears, though. (You can see the other one by turning your screen to face the other way)