Finding a stash of gentlemen’s leisure magazines in a hedge as a lad is still one of my finest achievements.

However, there’s a limit to throwing your sexy stuff around and that limit has reared its ugly head in recent months with several incidents of a dildonic bent.

For example, this happened in Australia, and it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Quite normal behaviour in the Northern Territories, but enough to make it onto the front page of the world’s best local newspaper.

Then, if that wasn’t enough, this woman saw a duck. BUT IT WASN’T A DUCK.

An easy mistake to make, because if you squint a bit and take a lot of drugs, that clockwork cucumber could easily be mistaken for some sort of water fowl.

And finally, this dropped into our mailbox this morning, and frankly, we’re aghast.

Won’t anyone think of the kiddiewinks?

If this is your dong, you ought to be ashamed.