As excuses for overstaying in a car park go, being held hostage by a passing parade is right up there.

And just look at the fury.

I know people who would be quite happy to be held hostage by Skegness Carnival for a while, but they are deviants and perverts and should be in prison.

Lincolnshire Live: Couple quite upset after being charged £90 after being trapped in car park by Skegness Carnival

“When we came out, the carnival had started to pass – therefore we couldn’t get out of the car park.

“We were trapped for over an hour, which was frustrating.”

I hear you pal, nobody wants to be trapped in Skeggy for any longer than they need to be.

“We were there for two weeks.”

Oh.

Sorry mate, you’ve brought it on yourself.

And while we’re on the subject of ridiculous parking tickets:

Blackpool Gazette: Woman who does the donkey rides on Blackpool beach says she’s not going to pay the parking fine handed to her while she was unloading her donkeys

This brings up a number of questions.

Number one: Who knew that donkey rides were still a thing? Then you realise that Blackpool is yet to emerge from the 1950s, so donkey rides are still a thing.

Number two: Can you wheel clamp a donkey? Yes. Yes you can.

Given the choice between having to go to Blackpool to ride on a hoof-clamped donkey, or find yourself trapped in Skegness for two weeks by heavily-armed clowns, I think I’d rather take the gentlemen’s way out.