There’s a deluge in Coventry. A deluge so horrific that this couple are trapped in their house for fear that it will wash away.

Or, possibly, it’s all a bit of an inconvenience and a massive waste of water.

But the word “forced” is much overused in journalism, when the writer actually means “might have to every now and then”.

Coventry Telegraph: Leaking pipe means that pensioners need to wear wellies when they hang out their washing

Yet, despite the build-up, there they are, both out in the garden wearing sensible shoes.

WHY AREN’T YOU WEARING WELLIES TO ILLUSTRATE A STORY ABOUT THE NEED TO WEAR WELLIES?

Honestly, no wonder the country’s going to the dogs.

But when it comes to flooding, there is no way to hold back the water. Water is a relentless bastard, and it will find you and drown you good. But still people try.

Irish Examiner: Look. Yes. We know you said that our city flooding would be a Very Bad Thing, but could you find a way to build flood defences that aren’t – you know – wall based?

Funnily, there’s one very good reason why town and city flood defences tend to be based on very large walls, and that is because very large walls have a long and proven track record of stopping floods.

Your other suggestion, something called “magic”, has also been tried many times down the centuries and has returned a zero per cent success rate. Walls it is, then.

Still, ten out of ten for the pose.