WARNING: This article contains a photo of an actual turd, and don’t say we didn’t warn you.

When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.

But not in a demonstration toilet in a DIY store.

Of course, somebody had to go there. Cue full-screen picture of a turd.

NZ Herald: Hunt for DIY store pooper following dirty protest

In case you didn’t realise, the New Zealand Herald is the country’s newspaper of record, so it’s clear from this report that this brown trout has left the nation rocking on its heels.

Who knows when the phantom pooper will strike again?

Is he/she a New Zealander, or an escaped Australian?

This one will run and run.