Everything’s terrorism these days. You can’t even grow a giant marrow without the bomb squad swinging by.

So it’s hardly much of a surprise that one man’s harmless but highly competitive hobby of growing outsize vegetables have attracted the attention of the law.

But, to be honest, it’s probably more to do with a huge purchase of various fertilisers, screws, plastic tubes and sheeting that a red light started flashing at GCHQ in Cheltenham.

As a teenage pyromaniac, those where exactly the things I bought when I wanted to make things go bang.

Nottingham Post: Man who is really, really into growing massive marrows, celery and onions would like to point out that he is not a terrorist after a friendly visit from the local constabulary

In his own words:

“All the things I had were things I needed for a homemade bomb.

“It’s a joke among the giant veg growing community that we might get a knock on the door from the boys in blue over the amount of fertiliser we buy. 

“We joke that they would think we were making bombs – or growing cannabis.”

Meanwhile, back at the cop shop, a red light starts flashing on the drug squad’s desk.

And people are very protective of their homegrown veg:

Border Mail: “I hope they choke,” says gardener after produce stolen from garden

Other threats may include “Guess where this marrow’s going” and “You’re right, except it’s going up there sideways”.

So out take-home is this: Woe betide the person who upsets back-garden growers. They’ve got the kit, they’ve got the know-how, they WILL send you an exploding marrow.