Our hero of the week award goes to Maurice Pledger, who not only found a mushroom that looks like a man’s hampton, but he took a photo and sent it in to his local newspaper.

Or, it could be a murdered porn star in a shallow grave and we’ve stumbled across a crime scene.

You decide.

Hertfordshire Mercury: Man stumbles across what is either a very rare phallus mushroom, or a murdered porn star

And extra points for the marvellous hat and the excellent dog.

Here’s someone else who found a very rare penis out in the the wild:

Toowoomba Chronicle: Kylie steaming after finding a speedknob in her burger box

Very shoddy work, to be fair. Where are the hairs and the spurt of jizz?

We are disgusted.