Hey kids, just say no to drugs.

You might think it’s cool to inject marijuana, but before you know it you’ll end up like this Australian version of Zammo McGuire, KILLED COMPLETELY TO DEATH in tragi-comic circumstances.

Cairns Times: Man smokes a metric crap-ton of Ice, tries to engage in an act of sexual congress with a saltwater crocodile, is now missing presumed dead

“Of course, the croc wasn’t having bar of it,” said a friend.

Meanwhile, Doctor Obvious has a quote for the paper:

“My conclusion is (that) he became delusional and thought attempting sex with a crocodile was a perfectly sane act.”

Of course. We’ve all had that urge, but few have had the full-on drug-raddled death wish to actually follow through and make sweet, sweet love to half a ton of future handbag.

Just say no, kids.