I’ve been posting my letters in the dog poo box for TWO YEARS and other weird news classics

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This classic story has arrived in our inbox yet again, so we thought it best that we stick it up on the website here and save it for the ages.

Lord knows if it’s true or not, but – frankly – who cares? It has everything you hope for in a news story, but boils down to “Thank Christ that’s not me posting all my mail in a dog poo bin”.

Back in the days before internet banking was a thing and people paid their bills by post, I once accidentally posted a load of cheques into a town centre bin in the middle of Weymouth.

Yes, reader, I fell in trying to retrieve them, and emerged with that special rotten egg smell you get when you fall into a bin.

But enough about me being the most hapless man on Earth, here are a few more evergreen stories that occasionally land in our submissions box. Some real, some complete bollocks.

This is the Sunday Sport, so who can tell?

We get this one at least once a month. And it’s true. See also “Whitstable custard shortage”, which just goes to show that the shit is real in Kent.

Important military news analysis from Lt Col Dan Obvious, of the Royal Obvious Regiment.

True, as far as one can tell, and all the salient details in the headline so you never have to read the story.

Fake, we’re afraid. Fake, but brilliant.

Now that Poundland have started to stock things that are not a pound, this story is now no longer funny. Damn you, Poundland.

To submit your own funny, weird or angry story, go to our Facebook page and send us a link, or email scaryduck [at] fastmail [dot] fm.

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